12-28-06 in Bangalore (now known as Bengaluru)

I am in Malleswaram now. Navin and Nishu picked me up at the airport at 5:00 am. I was getting very excited! The air was spring cool and as Navin drove...I started recognizing everything. Felt like i had never left. I remebered MG Road, Chowdiah and all! Coolest was I still remembered how to get to Didi and Dada's house!!

As i entered the colony, all the memories rushed back...Diwali with sparklers in the court yard, rangoli on the steps...ahh..nostalgic =) I went straight to my old room. Everything was exactly as I remembered it! By 8:30 am, Didi woke up and made her delicious tea and some breakfast. Then I took a short nap and went out with Navin. We went to eat lunch...yummy desi food!!!! and Indian ice-cream...vanilla here tastes so different! Then we drove around a bit in town and jet lag hit me. Plan was I was going back to the house to take a nap and then we would go out at night for drinks and checkout the tattoo parlors for my next tat. He also drops the news that he got engaged to his girlfriend and to be married in May!! So very happy for him but pissed cause he waited so long to tell me!

I never woke up...I slept from 5:00pm to 7:00am!!!

Finally wokeup, Didi made some tea, dosa and yummy yummy chutney. Dada and I did the Soduko and the boys woke up.

its 12:00pm now...should start getting ready to leave for Goa!!

Heathrow Airport: 11:30am 12/26/06 waiting for connecting to Bangalore

I started packing for my trip at 10:30am for the 8:30pm flight from JFK—those that don’t know—it’s a 1 ½ hour ride from my mother’s house. I was going to take the Airporter shuttle so my mother or my brother wouldn’t have to make the long drive on Xmas day. Airporter was closed and taxis not taking reservations being Xmas and all. So, decided to take train and subway. But, then my brother came over and saw that I was packing a suitcase---it was pretty light—and he felt pity on me and decided to drop me off. So both my brothers drove me to the airport. So nice of them =)

Before I left the house I had already checked-in online for my flight but once at the airport, I still had to stand in a python snake line for 1 hr! What was the convenience of on-line checking in??? The family behind me had the printed boarding pass from on-line and they had to stand on that ridiculous line! Oh well---I checked in my bag and headed for the gate. Was hoping I would get at least an eye-candy for the long flight but none really. I grabbed a sandwich, from a rude vendor that yelled at the customer in front me, and sat to have my first bite of food for the day. Time: 8:00pm. It was a 747 and had arrived late. They started boarding at 8:20 and that’s when I saw my eye candy. Probably in late 20s, dark, long hair (nape of neck), and just such a structured face. He looked like he may be a dancer…regardless had a nice slim body frame. Traveling alone as well. I took my liberties of staring at the features of the eye-candy but its been a long time since I actually started convos. I found my seat- aisle. It was 3 seater by window and an amusing site, the two guys and I were all hooked to our mp3 players and reading a book! None of us spoke to one another and the guy next to me kept having to go to the bathroom. But I wasn’t giving up my aisle seat! I barely had enough room for my legs…no way was I sitting inside!

The flight was delayed by two hours. Thank goodness to Ronak for giving me a book (Waiting by Ha Jini). I would have gone bonkers! I had forgotten my sketch pad and too cramped to write or pull out my laptop. I had lost my eye candy as well =( Also, we were seated behind a baby….a very cranky baby! Finally, the flight takes off—delayed cause JFK was short staffed on account of it being Xmas and the baggages were back logged in security. I was enjoying all the new random music I had uploaded on the i-nano. One of the CDs was Farshad’s band Cryptic Fate (Bangali rock band) –it had one song I liked so far, Onuprerona. The melody is rockin’; have to take a few more listens to understand the Bengali lyrics. Also listened to Fuad’s (Bangali music director) remixes, I really like his style and his explorations of fusing different styles—he does reggae, rock, Bengali folk and classical sounds—all melded together harmoniously! Bangladeshis are coming a long way on the music front! Flight takes off at 10:00pm.

On board movie I watched: The Wicker Man. Very disturbing film.

On board dinner: Beef casserole with mashed potatoes. Eh.

Drink: coke, white wine.

Tried to get sleep---not possible in those tiny little seats! I think I do prefer Kuwait Airways—at least I can get 3 seats to myself and sprawl out for a nap!

Finally landed in Heathrow and found the eye-candy again. Such a cutie! Ended up shopping in duty free and bought a Black Label for dada (the dad of the family I will be staying with) and some After Eight chocolate mints for the family. I am starting to get excited about landing in Bangalore. I am really starting a vacation! Well, a semblance of one anyway!

Now waiting for the connecting flight to Bangalore. Its 12:36pm (London time) and flight is at 1:40pm. I have the window seat this time. My poor legs will give out…my knee and ankle has already started acting up.

I should start writing some end of year notes to friends and family…

JFK NY 9:30am on board BA delayed flight to London

12-25-06

Today is my mother’s birthday. My lil brother and I snuck up on her at midnight and woke her up. The woman does not have any wrinkles! Its amazing! We wished her happy birthday and she dozed off back to sleep. The tradition, when we were younger, was to wake her up to breakfast in bed but this year…I was too caught up in packing (of course I waited till the last possible minute!) to make her anything. I was just too damn lazy. My brothers attempted to take her out to lunch but because I was still not packed, they decided to have birthday lunch tomorrow. My mother is truly an amazing woman. She raised three children all on her own and put her self through school.

As I get older, I am realizing I am more and more like my mother. As a young girl, that was the absolutely unacceptable! But as I grow older, I am beginning to be proud to say I am like my mother. Yes, I did inherit most of her neurotics but I do recognize the faults and try my best to form my own identity. My mother is one of those eccentric creatures that are stuck in a time warp. She grew up in the “old” world with all its ideologies, proper-ness and “what will society say” mentality but she has been in this country so long that she is quite independent and could care less what people thought about her lifestyle choices. At the same time, I think she has a difficult time putting her feet in both worlds. As her children, often times we were left confused at conflicting reactions or emotions from her. She was the “coolest” mom. We had no curfews, she didn’t call us 100x a day to ask where we were, didn’t ask how we spend our money—in short—allowed us a lot of freedoms that our peers parents didn’t allow. Yet, we were never took extreme advantages. We did not disappoint her complete trust on us. We have a very volatile relationship with our mother at times, but more often than not, she is our best friend.

I love my mom and want her to find herself and be comfortable with who she is and the choices she makes. Wish that she finds peace from struggling to fit in both worlds. I am proud to be my mother’s daughter and friend. Love you mom, Happy Birthday =)

Arranged marriage

Arranged marriage – not exactly sure how to define it. Traditionally, it’s your parents arranging your marriage. This, in most cases, meant that you would not meet your future spouse till the day of your wedding. Other cases, you may have met once or few times chaperoned and possibly exchanged letters (or emails) and phone conversations (or texts/sms). Today, however, the concept of arranged marriage has somewhat changed. It has evolved into parents setting you up. You get pictures and bio-data (his or her educational or family background) and decide whether you want to meet them to see if there is any chemistry. When I was a teenager, my friends and I scoffed at such an idea. Ugh..how could you meet someone like that? So not romantic! But as we aged and most of more or less been single for over 5 years and increasingly difficult to meet Mr. Right as opposed to Mr. Right Now…the idea of parents setting you up is not so bad! We willingly get set up by our parents, aunts, uncles, friends…sift through tons of bio-datas and pictures. Even travel cross state lines and internationally boundaries to meet the possible Mr. Right. Success rate? Well, I have heard great stories of love affairs gone right and nightmares of relationships. Not much different from real world. Hrmph!

A problem with arranged marriage is that people (the respective boy/girl and family members) put their best foot forward. Their family names and images are at stake here! So how do you really know who you are marrying? The future in-laws are the nicest people, the respective boy/girl is a gem of a human being and such a catch. Call me cynical….ok I am cynical. How are you supposed to know what you are getting? Well, I guess one could argue that you never quite do. I mean, you could be in a relationship with someone for 6 years and find something about them that totally throws you off.

I had a point I was making with this—but really—I can’t remember what it was. I am not against or for this method of marriage. It has worked well for some and not worked well for others. Relationships are tricky. Feelings are what they are. When it feels right—go for it.

Artists and Money

I & Dina Denis (Dins Denis Dance) at the Cheryl Pelavin art gallery in NY

Rang de Nila (Color me Blue)

Bringing Siona's art to life in dance

(FYI: It’s a rant. Not meant to offend anyone.)

Why is it that people will pay their plumber, doctor and babysitter but when hiring artists they try get the work for free? I cannot count the number of times that organizations have contacted me and they are willing to pay venues and staff to organize event, etc…but dancers and performers they just expect to do the act for free! And what is with compensations through great exposure? “media will be there” “our audience is high net worth individuals” blah, blah, blah… No, I need to get paid – I have expenses! I need to pay for studio, compensate dancers, transportation to and from venue for me and my dancers, food, costumes, CDs for music, just to name a few. These are my basic expenses and they add up!

Alright—I am willing to work for free if it is a really good cause or believe that the exposure will realistically benefit me and my dancers.

But seriously, I know I am not alone out there…you artists out there know what I am talking about. And you organizers out there—understand that artists need to put roof over their heads and food on tables as well and need to be compensated accordingly for their time. Its not just a 15 min lecture or just a 5 min dance…in order to produce that is hours of work.

Not to be a hypocrite—I ask dancers to dance without compensation for my RHYTHMS showcase as well. But that’s different—I provide a space and the performers are welcome to invite who ever they please to watch them perform. Be it agents, friends, anyone. I am creating a space to try out new works and a space allowing freedom to experiment and push creative boundaries. It’s a dance creation space. And I am working on creating a stipend for choreographers.

Performers and artists use their creativity as medium to express. That’s real work. Sitting in an office, typing away, going to meetings and doing presentations to clients are not the only way to be compensated for “work”. When you walk into an office and start your day, you are expected to be thinking about your job and you are compensated for it. Artists likewise need to be compensated for their creations. So next time you go to see a show---don’t gripe about the price of your tickets. If you are willing to pay $60 for a haircut and drop $100 for a dinner, you can spare $15-$30 to be entertained as well.

More later on arts and politics and lack of funds...

Being cynical n’ cautious?

I was waiting at the port authority for Siona to meet me and something weird happened.

I was waiting at Au Bon Pain in the corner seat and there was an older well dressed, seemingly normal guy seating in front to the right of me. The place is pretty crowded so nothing out of ordinary except that the guy wasn’t having anything (well—neither was i) and he kept turning back in my direction. At first I thought he must be waiting for someone and looking. Then I thought maybe it was a blind date and he didn’t know what the person looked like or something that’s why he kept looking back. It was only me and another woman sitting behind me. And every few mins he would get up walk around then sit back down. Ok, he was waiting and searching for someone. But then I get creepy feeling he is staring. Ok—I am by myself a lot and always try to be aware of surroundings but this guy gave me severe hibbyjeebies. Then he takes out a notepad and starts writing stuff down. And keep looking back again. Then I think maybe he is like an undercover agent and just noting strange happenings…a brown girl with a backpack and laptop is worth noting down I guess. Then he takes out a phone, scrolls through it, shuts it and points the angle in my direction and I hear a shutter click. I have purposely kept a hand over my face (I was sneezing so didn’t look too awkward) just in case he is taking a picture with his phone. He says “bless you” as I sneeze. Soon after he looks back again, gets up, puts his jacket on and leaves.

I know…it was nothing except a guy that was probably waiting and whoever he was waiting for didn’t show. Feel like NY’s made me overly cynical n’ just too cautious about everything. Or maybe its just me.

Gloomy morning

Siona Benjamin, Finding Home #81 (Fereshteh), 2006

Thats Siona with 2 faces and me coming in from the side--inspired by our work Rang de Nila

This morning was pretty difficult to wake up. No sleep from the last few days because of the shoot and body just really exhausted. I think my body is just revolting from not having its own bed to sleep on for past month! I had to make a trip into New York to say more goodbyes to friends before I leave. Thought of just using the food poisoning as an excuse to get out of it all. But then I really wanted to see Siona (check out her links on the left) before I took off for 3 months. She is like the big sister I never had. I pulled myself out of bed and made the train…I will be late to meet her but at least I will get to see her for a little bit.

…met up with Siona. Was absolutely wonderful catching up with her. I forgot it was Chanukkhah and did not get her or Rachel (her daughter) a present L She gave me a beautiful set of earrings…well two sets. And a calendar with her works in it. We may be doing Rang de Nila at Drew Univ where she will be teaching next summer. Possibly at Ithaca as well. She is so brilliantly artistic…in the course of us catching up she came up with a new additions to Rang de Nila. Excited about it and looking forward to seeing if it works out! I have gripes about being an artist and not being paid for the work…more about that later.

On Set...

http://www.pbase.com/foureyedgenius/nd

Since Friday, I have been in Philadelphia. My friend was out of town and we were using her apartment as a set for the film I have been working on. The apt was home to my character and her husband. I have worked on movie sets almost all my life…behind and in front but this weekend was truly a long weekend. Don’t get me wrong-I love the work, it’s the waiting between takes that is so tasking! Now I know why people can make careers out of being stand-ins for actors and actresses. Why there should be a caterer and a prop master. This is a low budget indie film so everyone is wearing several hats…so the actors have to think about when to get food (like getting food from a shady restaurant in Philly –Kabobeesh-at 11pm and the entire cast & crew – 5 of us—have been struck with food poisoning!) and the director has to worry about damaging the walls and not being too loud for neighbors (my friends only request was to not damage her walls and of course, the walls were damaged.). It gets challenging to do it all! Regardless, I had a good time being Ria. Probably my most favorite character to date.

The film is called Nokhotrer Doshe (in Bangali) – loosely translated in English it means – well—not sure what it means exactly..Nokhotrer means stars or celestial and Doshe means the fault of. Maybe along the lines of… “Its Fate” or “Its in the stars”. The writer/director wants the English title to be Urban Tribes…But I really don’t like that, don’t think it accurately captures the meaning of the film. The film is about Bangladeshis living in America. That’s all I can probably say right now. It will be in English and Bengali.

I really loved the script and believe the characters. So, looking forward to the final product! Hopefully, it will be ready by summer ’07!

Check on the link “Film I am working on” to see pictures from the filming.

Coming Home...

I haven't visited my mother's house in close to 5 months. And dang! I really missed my mom's cooking. Since I came home she made fried fish (salmon), chicken curry, dal, vegetables...Yum yum yum diggers!! There really is nothing like a meal cooked by your mother!! But, it does come with a price...she had shown signs of backing off the whole "we need to get you married..." deal but looks like she is back on it.

Before it was 27-29 yr olds who were apparently very much like me and she would set up the "dates" and then laugh when i told her that he was a total dud. Then it went through a phase of...don't marry a desi, they won't get you...find yourself a nice Italian boy (don't ask..my mom is a unique creature) then it went into..."i understand marriage isn't a priority as long as u are happy, i am happy"...now the latest is... "I have a PhD professor in his late 30s, never married, kind of weird he never married but he is a great guy, what do you think? want to meet him?" As I choke on her deliciously fried salmon, I look at my mother...she is completely serious!

It was pretty common place for desi moms to make their sons get married to "settle down"...but in my family my younger brother is getting married and is very settled down with a great job and very responsible financially and otherwise. I, the older daughter, am a complete disaster. At 27, I have no steady job, no permanent home of my own, did not go to school for a MA/PhD and decided to live a bohemian lifestyle. Doing what I please and whatever makes me happy. Its a major thorn on her side to not see me "settle down"! Apparently, in her mind, marriage is the only thing to make me settle!

Well, to be completely fair...she has given the option of getting married OR going back to school. I can't do neither..it absolutely has to be one or the other. Sadly, I am not interested in either right now..thus an impasse with my darling mother!

Major price of coming home...my mother driving me bonkers with her ideas of what is a "good" life vs. what I have chosen as a lifestyle.

For the chicken curry and fried fish...I think I can put up with it for two weeks...I hope...

Good Byes and Rambles...

It is cold! And I have a cold and a fever. I finally moved home to my mother's for two weeks i have left.

Monday started with the goodbyes. I will only be gone for a 2 1/2 months! Its just a blink of an eye! But anyway...yesterday was the last day of my classes. Said good bye to my students and the studio. I will miss my dancers. I will miss the studio.

I should go take a nap...

The Beginning...

Welcome to The Bohemian Bongo.

FYI: Bongo--is a term used to refer to Bangalis of Bangladesh and West Bengal (India).

Dance. Travel. Write. Feel. This space will hold thoughts, experiences, questions and observations.

I am Bangladeshi-American. Part of the Hyphen generation. Comfortably straddling the line between a Bangali heritage and an American up-bringing.

A performing artist. A classical dancer. Constantly sifting through ideas for my next project(s)...in search of stimulation and motivation.

Love to travel and find pieces of myself in unexpected places. This blog is created in anticipation of my extended trip to India & Bangladesh.

I leave the country on Dec. 25, 2006 and expected back in the States on March 15, 2007.

Feel free to leave comments or anything of interest--
a poem, a painting, a picture, a thought...