Arranged marriage

Arranged marriage – not exactly sure how to define it. Traditionally, it’s your parents arranging your marriage. This, in most cases, meant that you would not meet your future spouse till the day of your wedding. Other cases, you may have met once or few times chaperoned and possibly exchanged letters (or emails) and phone conversations (or texts/sms). Today, however, the concept of arranged marriage has somewhat changed. It has evolved into parents setting you up. You get pictures and bio-data (his or her educational or family background) and decide whether you want to meet them to see if there is any chemistry. When I was a teenager, my friends and I scoffed at such an idea. Ugh..how could you meet someone like that? So not romantic! But as we aged and most of more or less been single for over 5 years and increasingly difficult to meet Mr. Right as opposed to Mr. Right Now…the idea of parents setting you up is not so bad! We willingly get set up by our parents, aunts, uncles, friends…sift through tons of bio-datas and pictures. Even travel cross state lines and internationally boundaries to meet the possible Mr. Right. Success rate? Well, I have heard great stories of love affairs gone right and nightmares of relationships. Not much different from real world. Hrmph!

A problem with arranged marriage is that people (the respective boy/girl and family members) put their best foot forward. Their family names and images are at stake here! So how do you really know who you are marrying? The future in-laws are the nicest people, the respective boy/girl is a gem of a human being and such a catch. Call me cynical….ok I am cynical. How are you supposed to know what you are getting? Well, I guess one could argue that you never quite do. I mean, you could be in a relationship with someone for 6 years and find something about them that totally throws you off.

I had a point I was making with this—but really—I can’t remember what it was. I am not against or for this method of marriage. It has worked well for some and not worked well for others. Relationships are tricky. Feelings are what they are. When it feels right—go for it.